By Alyssa Udall (@udallyss)

Writing a paid search or PPC ad is almost an art form: it takes practice, constant effort and preparation.  This, of course, is assuming that you want your ad to be successful.  If you’re not a stickler for getting the most out of your paid search ads, then by all means, follow the guidelines stated here, in a list of how to write stinky PPC ads.  However, if you do want to use PPC ads successfully to aggressively drive traffic to your website and become an internet marketing genius, then avoid these tips at all costs!

1)  Do not do keyword research.

One of the keys to a stinky PPC ad is a lack of keyword research.  Just bid on whatever words you think are relevant to your site and hope for the best!

2)  Stay away from attention-grabbing calls-to-action.

Go ahead and describe your product or service, but do not by any means ask the reader to do anything!  Just to be sure, stay away from any words in verb form.

3)  Try not to give the reader a reason to click on your ad.

When writing your paid search ad, do not ask yourself, “Why should someone click on this ad?”  Make sure that your ad is merely informational and does not solve a problem or provide an interesting service.

4)  Avoid numbers and eye-attracting words.

If at all possible, try to spell out your numbers to make sure that nobody is attracted to your ad.  For example, instead of the extremely attractive “$.05 / month,” try “five cents per month” instead!

5)  Do not consider running your ads at certain times of day or testing your ads.

If you’ve followed all the previous steps outlined above, you shouldn’t have to worry about which of your PPC ads are successful, because none of them will be.  Just run them when you want to run them!  Do not consider holidays, time changes, or when your biggest competitors will most likely run their ads.

So… do you get the point?

Sadly, many online business owners are actually running their paid search campaigns in this manner.  However, you can be one of the lucky ones who actually knows better!  Congratulations.